Fighting the Whopper

by Weam Namou

The Whopper

I think I gained a few pounds. Actually, I know I have. My jeans felt tight today. I tried to remember if they were newly washed. Nope. I kept trying to find excuses to this recent change of size when the reality was I haven’t gone to the gym in a long time.

I took my kids and my nieces to Burger King, as I promised I would if they played in the basement for a little while and left me alone. I ordered food for everyone but myself. I was determined not to eat fast food, just to drink coffee and work on my laptop. Then one of my nieces came up to me. “I want a Whopper too,” she said.

It was a tricky situation. I had a buy-one-get-one coupon. Do I let the coupon go to waste or do I risk getting the extra whopper and eating it. I figured wasting a coupon was not a wise housewife thing to do, so I ended up with two whoppers by the time I returned to the table. I took my seat and worked on the computer, writing away while wondering who was going to eat that extra whopper. I’ll give it to my husband, that’s what I’ll do, I decided. Or I’ll drop it off to my mom’s house. She’ll think that’s such a nice daughterly gesture. It was settled. Someone else was going to eat the whopper and I’ll get extra brownie points for thinking of them.

Before walking out of Burger King, I took one of the kids’ empty drink cups and refilled it up with lemonade, my favorite drink when eating out. That should have been a warning. In the car, I thought what a bad idea it was to give my mother an unhealthy sandwich. My husband should eat this sandwich, I decided, as I parked the car in the garage. Inside the house, the lights were all off. My husband was taking a nap. I quickly went inside, started the fireplace, added jalapeno peppers and mustard on the whopper and sat beside the fireplace with my lemonade. I gobbled that sandwich like I had not eaten for days. Even though it was cold by now, it was delicious. I was so happy to have lost to the whopper.

By the way, the Whopper was created in 1957 by Burger King founder James McLamore and sold for 37 cents.