Committed: A Love Story is the latest audio book I’m listening to. In it, author Elizabeth Gilbert gives a colossal account of marriage. From the tribal women in Vietnam to modern day Americans, she observes, compares and contrasts marriages, their success and failures, and comes to the conclusion that love is not enough to make a marriage work. You need to also put some thought into it. That’s what differentiates infatuation from real love. Furthermore, she highly recommends that men and women do not rely on their spouses for happiness. Each person is responsible for his or her own state of mind and spirit.
In a memoir I listened to last week, Three Weeks with My Brother, author Nicholas Sparks has a conversation about marriage with his brother Micah. Micah believed that the most important thing to a successful marriage was communication. Nicholas responded, “What’s the use of communication, in the case of an affair for instance, if you are not committed? If two people are committed to the marriage, if they really want to make it work, then they’ll find a way to do it. No matter what happens in life.”
Both Gilbert and Sparks give good old fashioned advice which I would like to share with newlyweds in general, particularly the newlyweds I attended the wedding of last Sunday – where in the midst of a storm and while the power was out inside our home, my family and I enjoyed the ambience of a fancy and beautiful wedding, delicious food, and more food, and my favorite, a violinist who during dinner played famous classics, like the Godfather love theme.
Cheers to healthy, happy marriages!