Community | Cultural Glimpse

March 16, 2014

International Women’s Day

Last Saturday the Iraqi Human Rights Society held an event at Double Tree Hotel in Dearborn in honor of international Women’s Day. The main speaker was a dear colleague, Judge Eman Jajonie-Daman, who was born in Iraq and came to the United States in 1979, when she was 14 years old.

Mrs. Jajonie-Daman gave a wonderful speech about the history of women in the United States, the things they had to do in order to get to where they are today. It was not easy for them. They fought and worked hard and despite all their accomplishments, we women have a lot more work ahead of us.

“That’s my daughter,” the woman sitting beside me said.

“You’re Eman’s mother?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said, and after I told her who I was, and she told me her name, Hayat Jajonie, it turned out that our families knew each other.

“Tell me, what’s the secret to raising such wonderful children?” I asked, after she told me how all her children (three daughters and one son) had prestigious occupations. “What advice would you give mothers?”

“To educate themselves!” she said. “And spend less time shopping.”

Oh, I was so grateful that I was on the right path.

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February 21, 2014

Who Loses to a Bunch of Kids?

A British anthropologist, Sir Flinders Petrie, discovered in the 1930’s a collection of objects in a child’s grave in Egypt that appeared to him to be used for a crude form of bowling. Meaning, bowling can be traced back as far as 3200 BC.

A German historian, William Pehle, claimed that bowling began in his country about 300 AD. He shows evidence that a form of bowling was quite fashionable in England in 1366, but then King Edward III supposedly outlawed it to keep his troops focused on archery practice.

The first standardized rules for pin bowling were established in New York City, on September 9, 1895. The oldest surviving bowling alley in the United States is part of the summer estate of Henry C. Bowen in Woodstock, Connecticut, at Roseland Cottage. The alley is now part of Historic New England’s Roseland Cottage house museum.

Whatever its history, today the sport of bowling is enjoyed by 95 million people in more than 90 countries worldwide. And the other day when I played it with a bunch of kids, I LOST!

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February 2, 2014

The Benefits of Being Snowed In

While getting some fresh air during a nice walk around the block is out of the question these days, being snowed in does have its benefits. Due to Michigan’s weather condition this winter, I have:

1. Finished a book I’ve been working on for years
2. Started a new project
3. Rested quite well
4. Found creative new ways to play with my kids
5. Organized the entire basement

Since this weather might resume for February, I might learn another half-dozen things. As I write this, I am reminded of my teacher Lynn Andrews, who wrote: “Once again we move into the season of winter, Mother Earth’s gift to us of hibernation, of dreaming and being within ourselves as we allow our dreams to germinate and gain clarity before we plant them in the coming spring.”

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October 24, 2013

Our Sponsored Child

Today we received a welcome packet from Children International introducing us to the child we will be sponsoring. His name is Jose, he’s from Guatemala and he’s 8 years old.

It all started three weeks ago. I was trying to take a short nap when the doorbell rang. My kids, who thought it was their neighborhood friends, opened the door. Hearing the voices of adults, I threw my nap out the window and came to see who was at the door.

Oh no, I thought, seeing a nice looking young man and woman, all smiles, polite, and trying to sell me something. They were from Children International, and they hooked me quickly by talking about children in need. My son didn’t help. He was flirting with the beautiful young woman. The handsome young man was telling me how his wife was having a baby soon. It was going to be a girl. To make a long story short, I ended up giving in.

Twenty-five dollars a month to make a difference in a life of a child who lives in a poverty-stricken country is a good thing – to the child and to us. Once in a while, we need to step outside of our comfort zone, to look not at our goals but at those who are trying to achieve our goals. To them, we have everything.

Jose’s birthday is November 3rd. I told my daughter we will send him a birthday card.

“Can we take him out too?” she asked.

“Well, no. He lives in a different country.”

“Oh man! Can we visit him one day?”

I thought of the one room house that housed 5 people and had 3 beds. “Maybe,” I said.

“He is poor, mamma?” she asked, looking at the picture of the average Guatemalan home.

“Not really. Like you he has parents and siblings and he goes to school. He likes to draw and write and so he’s very rich in his own way.”

“How are we going to help him if he doesn’t live here?”

“We are going to help each other through gifts. We send him money and in return, he makes us realize how grateful we should be for what we have.”

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October 14, 2013

Hiking, Tribal Style

Last year my cousin raved about this one park that she said we “must go to.” So we did. It was Bloomer Park in Rochester. They have a number of playgrounds and picnic areas and countless gorgeous trees to stare at. But our favorite discovery was the hiking trail we accidentally came across. We went up and down peaks, walked over fresh fallen leaves, amongst trees bunched together like parsley. The sun glistened over the small river beside us, bikers passed us by, and our children picked up sticks to use as canes as we moved forward.

The trail walk is around 90 minutes. Trying to find our way back to the picnic and playground area is usually not easy. Once we even ended up in a subdivision. It was a sight! Twenty people between the ages of 60 and 3 just roaming around a quiet neighborhood, looking dazed and confused. The experience was exhilarating and ever since that first time, we have gone back often for more hikes and picnic food or in today’s case, a barbecue.

Bloomer Park is named after Howard Bloomer, who was born in Baltimore, Maryland in 1871. Later in life, he received his law degree from Detroit College of Law. After law school, he helped found the Macgregor and Bloomer Law Firm. Two of his famous clients were John and Horace Dodge, the founders of Dodge Motor Car Company.

In the 1920’s, Bloomer persuaded the Dodge Brothers to donate 11 parcels of land to the State of Michigan to form state parks and recreation areas. Bloomer and his wife donated 47 acres along the Clinton River to the state in order to create Bloomer State Park #2.

Our family is grateful to Mr. Bloomer’s philanthropy.

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October 10, 2013

Crappy Sun

After a long day’s work of organizing my office and paperwork, cooking brussel sprout stew for lunch, preparing the stuffing for the grape leaves I will roll tomorrow, taking my son to school, dropping books and movies to Friends of the Library, taking the Ipad to get looked at an Apple Store, picking up my kids from school, coming home to feed the kids and out again to take my daughter to a Rock Climbing class while I exercise on the treadmill, then back at the house, preparing dinner for my husband, helping my daughter with her homework, researching for a possible weekend family trip, washing the dishes, on the way to taking out the garbage, I hear my son open the garage and yell, “I want Crappy Sun!”

I couldn’t help but smile. I didn’t correct him and say, “It’s Capri Sun.” I simply thought to myself, as difficult as it is sometimes to be a mom, with one word, one hug, one smile, our children can melt our hearts, make us remember how worth-while life is and how unnecessary it is to treat it too seriously.

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August 3, 2013

Fifteen Years Later…

We were the “four – sometimes five – musketeers” until one by one each of us, with the exception of Jehan (in the grey dress), got married and had kids. Now it’s Jehan’s turn to get married. In an attempt to spend some quality time together before she moves to California, we met at Mon Jin Lau for dinner.

“Do you know it has been 15 years since we last went out like this?” Jehan asked.

We did not know that. She could calculate these numbers because unlike us, she does not have to juggle so many things at once – at least not yet. One thing I must give our little group credit for is how little they have changed these past fifteen years. They still maintain a healthy active lifestyle while maintaining a home and raising a family.

May we continue to meet like this, but not wait another fifteen years to do so!

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August 2, 2013

Interviewing My Mom

The story we leave behind is the best message we give to our children. My mom does not like to tell stories, but she has lived her life in a way that says a lot. Still, for years I’ve been trying to get detailed information from her about her childhood, her early marriage and motherhood. But while I have been successful in doing great interviews with the most prominent members in the Chaldean American community, I have not been too successful with her. She always tries to divert my questions.

Finally, on Wednesday, with the help of my sisters, we poked around until we learned that in the village of Telkaif in northern Iraq, snow did sometimes appear, during which time my mother and other children would slip and slide over it – basically ice skating with shoes.

“What was the biggest lie you ever told?” I asked her.

“I didn’t lie,” my mother said, indignantly.

“Yes, you did,” my older sister responded. “I remember when Babba gave you spending money, you would put it away and when it totaled to two dinars, you gave it to your mother.”

My mother shrugged. “I did do that. They needed it. They didn’t have much.”
“So that was for a good cause,” my sister said.

Even when my mother lied, it was out of the goodness of her heart.

Well, given that my mother is now 80 years old, I have a lot of catching up to do – with regards to jotting down her stories. So I pray that God blesses us with her presence for a long long time.

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July 31, 2013

A Proud Aunt

My nieces have grown up to be wonderful women, wives and mothers – most of whom also juggle work. The other day one of them invited us over her house and she proved, once again, to be a great hostess. Watching them do what they do, I am proud to be their aunt, and to have played a role in their lives. I’m a godmother to a few of them, have at one point or another babysat all of them, as well as tutored some, put others to work, gave them quite a bit of advice, and of course, engaged in arguments with them.

Stepping back and observing their lives, I’m once again reminded how sacred family life really is. In the end, the work we put towards our loved ones does pay off.

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July 21, 2013

Stories that Hurt Our Hearts

A week ago today three children rode a tube behind their father as he towed them with his jet ski on Sylvan Lake. Another man, 56, driving a boat did not see the kids and hit them. The 11 year old boy died shortly afterwards, his six year old sister died the next day, and their 10 year old sister is still in critical condition.

I first heard this story on Monday night, one day late of everyone else. I was washing dishes and talking on the phone with my friend when she asked, “Haven’t you heard what happened to this one Chaldean family yesterday? It’s all over the news!”

I had heard nothing. I’d spent a nice quiet Sunday reading and writing – half the day alone, since my kids were at their cousins’. My friend filled me on the details and ever since then, I and the majority of the Chaldean community – given we are all somehow or another related – cannot get them off our minds. Whether we’re at a gathering, a birthday party, we bring them up, unable to imagine the horror of a nice Sunday afternoon having turned into a nightmare.

A vigil at St. Thomas Church in West Bloomfield was held for them. Over 1200 people showed up to pray. Other vigils were held in other churches, one even in San Diego. The lake, which used to have a marine patrol that was stopped due to budget cuts, will soon reinstate a marine patrol.

I spoke to another friend, told her that my heart keeps aching for this family, that I can’t help but wonder, again and again, why such a tragedy would occur.

She said, “In the Bible, it is written that there’s a time to laugh and a time to cry. There’s a time to live and there’s a time to die.”

She told me a story of when her cousin whom she was very close to had cancer. She prayed for Jesus to save her. Her cousin ended up dying and she asked Jesus, “Why didn’t you save her?”

He responded to her, “I saved all these other people you read about in the Bible, yet are they still here today?”

Death is inevitable, and some things, like the way in which death comes, are just way beyond our grasp. We can only pray that here on earth, God take care of the 10 year old girl, and her mom and dad. And from heaven, the loving and pure energy of the two beautiful children forever fill and guide their parents’ and sister’s hearts.

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